"The Before" (First Draft)

This is my first draft of a script I wrote called "The Before". I was really drawn to this idea and I'm happy with how the first draft turned out, albeit knowing that there are a few things that'll need changing. I'll explain the inspirations behind this script in a future post, but I think it's best you just take a look for yourselves...

 

"The Before" (First Draft)

 

Scene One:

Present day: A suburban street road- shot in black and white to give a surreal, menacing tone. Quick montage-like cuts create a snapshot of this non-descript suburbia:

-Close-up of wilting rose set against the backdrop of white-picket fence (the only thing in colour the red rose petal).

-A red rocking horse strewn across a front lawn.

-Long shot of Jehovah’s Witnesses knocking on doors with red bible.

A noise like ringing in the ears gradually intensifies (non-diegetic)

All other diegetic sound (the wind, children crying in the distance, the talking of the preacher’s) drifts in and out of focus, and feels distant.

Cut to a long shot of a male figure standing in the middle of the road.

Close-up of the man: intense, menacing look behind his eyes as he looks at something beyond the frame.

Jump-cut to over-the-shoulder shot as we see what the man is looking at- a woman with red hair, with another man.

Moving to a medium shot, we see them laughing and talking (not audibly), oblivious to the lone figure.

The woman’s face is obscured by her distinctive red hair. Finally, she turns (in close-up), revealing one of her eyes. She looks straight into the camera (the camera acting as the eyes of the mysterious male), looking shocked.

The buzzing builds to a dramatic crescendo, and we hear her gasp, the sound echoing and reverberating.

Scene Two:

Birds eye view shot of the man who was looking on in the previous scene and the red-headed woman. The scene is shot in colour.

The tagline written across the centre of the first shot implies that this scene is in flashback, and it also links to the title: “24 Days Before”.

She is turned to face away from him, her hair yet again obscuring her face. The man is looking up towards the ceiling (and therefore the camera). The camera slowly zooms in on him, conveying his deadpan facial expression. There’s a real stillness, no noise.

Suddenly, we hear laughing and excitable discussion, leaving the viewer temporarily confused.

Cut to a handheld VHS recording of the pair when they were happy together. Timestamp; July 2nd 1998- having a romantic picnic, bright, high key lighting, has a dreamy quality.

Dialogue to be improvised in order to have a naturalistic effect, but the gist of it is to show how loved up they are.

The male protagonist will hold the camera, the footage purposely grainy and shaky- again, to create a sense of realism.

Non-diegetic music- tinkly, sentimental, happy.

Cut back to the bedroom, by which time the camera has zoomed in closely on the man’s pained expression.

The tinkly music continues, in this context feeling melancholy.

A single tear rolls down his cheek, one side of his face in light, the other concealed in darkness.

Cut to a close-up of a framed pic on bedside table, the music now fading. It’s a picture of that same picnic, a happy moment in time.

Voiceover (non-diegetic): ‘Having issues in your marriage is TOTALLY normal...’

Scene Three:

Cut to a shot of the speaker, close-up. She’s middle aged, wearing a false smile, dressed glamorously, the epitome of annoying.

Cut to a shot of her name card. Adorned on it is, ‘DR SMILEY, MARRIAGE COUNSELLOR’.

Cut to a long shot of the office. Camera positioned behind the silhouettes of the couple looking across the mahogany desk at the aptly named Dr Smiley. Written across the frame: ‘18 Days before’

The walls are grotesquely saturated with affirmations, inspirational quotes and pictures of smiling people.

Quick montage-like cuts of close-ups of the different pictures of smiling people, the place feels oppressive and intimidating.

Cut to a mid-shot of the faces of the couple behind the desk. After all this ‘smiling’, there’s some humour in the fact that the two are most definitely NOT smiling.

Camera lingers awkwardly, the pair looking straight ahead, avoiding eye contact.

Shot-reverse-shot of Dr Smiley’s reaction to the apparent silence- her faux-jollity is wiped of her face, grimacing in the awkwardness of it all.

No music, apart from ticking of the grandfather clock, highlights this awkwardness.

Dr Smiley: ‘Well, um, how about you express your feelings, Mrs-um-Mrs Brown...’

Cut to a mid-shot of Mrs White, looking disgruntled: ‘It’s Mrs White! [looks pointedly at Mr White, whose out of the frame] And I-I don’t know what to say, he doesn’t care about me anymore, it’s as if he’s not in the room-look-see what I mean!?!’

Cut to Mr White, close-up. Camera leaves Mrs White out of focus, focusing on the foreground- Mr White.

The woman continues to vent, understandably so, but the volume of her words reduces, becoming distorted; so much so that her words descend into a really low-pitched voice.

Buzzing begins, intensifying. His face is totally blank, deep in thought. He then begins to smile, completely out of the zone, making Mrs White’s voice becomes even more annoyed and distorted.

Buzzing reaches a crescendo...

Scene Four:

The couple’s house. It’s dark, the only light shining into the conservatory being the moonlight. The camera is positioned low, at the man’s feet looking upwards, giving him a position of power. He’s sat on a large leather seat, throne-like.

His face is shrouded in darkness; non-diegetic sound of him recounting past arguments- they echo:

Man: ‘...I FOUND THE TEXTS ON YOUR PHONE....’

Woman: ‘Yeah.... well, so what, I deserved better than you’

It’s ugly stuff, a wall of noise, in complete contradiction with the comparatively silent surroundings of the man as he sits in an empty conservatory.

Moon-lit shot of a close-up of his hand: he’s holding a kitchen knife, held downwards against the coaster next to the armchair. He’s casually twisting it, rotating it, scratching the coaster absent-mindedly.

Buzzing intensifies.

Foreground of the knife shifts out of focus, concentrating on the background-it’s a photographic portrait of the pair in happier times.

A long shot shows him walking towards the photo. Close-up of him pressing the knife against the frame, the moonlight reflecting off the portrait.

Non-diegetic voice over: ‘ I CAN’T BELIEVE SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPENED IN OUR COMMUNITY!’

Scene Five:

Back to the present day- back to black and white. It’s a BBC News-like live interview of an elderly man, his head peeking out his front door (which is red), looking wild and utterly afraid.

Caption written across the frame: ‘WOMAN MURDERED BY DERANGED EX-HUSBAND!’ There’s no solemnity about the way it’s being reported.

Old Man: ‘They were such a lovely couple, the fella even offered to help me take my weeds out!’

Cut to a close-up of faceless, unidentifiable mourners laying down roses- the red of the roses is the only colour in the frame.

The scratching of vinyl and distorted sobbing from the mourners can be heard.

Scene Six:

Quick jump-cuts show the man putting on a vinyl record. The tagline ‘The End of “Before”’ is written across the frame. BJ Thomas’ ‘Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head’ begins to play; it’s bittersweet music, the calm before the storm.

Montage, shot in black and white, ensues, pace of editing gradually quickening as we move to the climactic shots.

-The bathroom: brushing his teeth, taking a series of pills. The bathroom looks green, almost acidic, the tiles dirty-looking. The positioning of the camera is looking at his reflection in the mirror.

-Getting dressed: dressing in scruffy attire, an ironic ‘Employee of the month’ badge pinned to his jumper.

-Picking up the knife: a low-angle positioned shot, placed by the knife on the table, the man pausing. The pace of edits is dramatically slowed, emphasising to the viewer the significance of this scene. He picks up the knife hesitantly, the hilt of the knife sticking out of his trouser pocket. A medium shot show’s the man’s figure brushing past the photo, the frame crashing to the floor as he leaves the front door.

Walking the streets: a quick series of long shots of the man traversing the streets, his menacing face juxtaposing with the normal images of suburban life. Panning will be used.

The stand-off: Finally, we return to the opening scenes of the film. Shots of the rose, rocking horse and the Jehovah’s witnesses are repeated in order to emphasise this idea. The music becomes distorted, the buzzing sound drowning out all diegetic and nondiegetic sound.

A repeat of the shots (up until the point where the female protagonist gasps) is replayed. Suddenly, the buzzing stops- immediate silence.

Close-up’s reveal the woman’s muted reaction, screaming and yelling with no sound. The final shot is a close-up of the hilt of the knife, the woman’s distinct red hair blurred in the background.

The longest shot in the film, it’s a tracking shot as the man (and the knife) moves towards her. After a few seconds, the man’s hand places a firm grip on the hilt of the knife, still in his trouser pocket.

Total silence. Cut to black. Pause a couple beats.

‘A FILM BY FINLEY HARNETT’

‘THE BEFORE’

An acoustic version of ‘Raindrops Keep Fallin on my Head’ plays as the credits continue.